7 Anxieties Women Get From Being Single Too Long

If you’ve been single for a long time, getting back into the swing of things can be harder than you might have thought. If you’re finding yourself wanting someone to snuggle up to after all this time, it could be a bit nerve wracking. Here are 7 romantic anxieties you’re likely to experience — and how to handle them.

7. You’re Afraid of Getting Hurt

Love is a high risk, high reward game, and that means that you can get hurt. Don’t let that stop you from trying. You’ve dealt with headaches and heartbreaks before, and while it may be comfortable to avoid that risk for a while, you can’t let it keep you from living a fulfilling romantic life. If nothing else, you know that if you do get your heart broken, you’ve learned how to enjoy life on your own. But you can’t find Mr. Right without giving him a chance.

6. You Don’t Want to Mess it Up

If the last breakup was your fault, you may be worried that you haven’t changed and could bring the same problems to a new relationship. It’s possible that those “problems” weren’t really problems at all, but instead were just areas where you two lacked compatibility. Take pride in who you are and the growth you’ve had since your last break up and don’t let the fear of mistakes stop you. If you feel like you haven’t grown, then maybe now’s the chance to focus on that instead. Either way, don’t be so hard on yourself.

5. You Don’t Want to Lose Your Identity

It’s all too common for women to lose pieces of themselves when they get into relationships. Some lose hobbies, others lose friends, and some even lose their sense of self, but that doesn’t have to happen to you. If you’re ready to get romantically involved, make sure to maintain balance between who you are as an individual and who you are within the relationship. Remember, a relationship compliments who you are, it doesn’t define who you are.

4. You Don’t Want to Repeat Your Past

If you’ve had your fair share of bad romance, it’s understandable to worry about finding yourself in the same situation over again. It’s easy to feel like most of the men you encounter are trash — because most of them aren’t for you. Take some time to assess your dating past and see if you spot any common themes. Are you still chasing that type of guy? Be on the lookout for red flags of a toxic relationship that you’ve ignored in the past so you can date with confidence.

3. You’re Afraid to be Vulnerable 

This one is often the ultimate fear — opening up to some guy, only to be left high and dry after all that time’s been wasted. Dragged him like two hours to your family's house — for what? Said he needed some time but you should stick around — for what? One of the hardest parts of getting back in the dating game is the risk that you’ll open up to the wrong one. Nobody wants to be played, and nobody wants their time wasted. It may be scary to show someone new what you really feel, but it can be equally rewarding.

2. You’re Worried About Independence

You’ve thrived on your own for all this time — you solve your problems, you get things done, and you make the decisions — and now you’re afraid that you could lose some of that by letting someone in and allowing them to be there for you and support you where they can. It’s easy to view yourself as part of something greater than yourself, and oftentimes this can be reinforced by your circle of friends. But, it’s important — for both of you — to maintain some autonomy. Best of all, keeping your independence can help create more diverse experiences, which can help the relationship feel fresh for longer. Just be sure that you find a guy that appreciates your independence as much as you do.

1. You’re Afraid of Change

Nobody is saying you have to change, but sometimes it happens. It’s easy to get lost in the sauce when you’re in love, but that doesn’t mean lose the things that got you there in the first place. Keep up with your interests and hobbies. Maintain your friendships. You may run into compromise from time to time, but that doesn’t signal the end of the world. What’s important when it comes to compromise is knowing where your priorities and values are — what you’ll waiver on and where you’ll stand firm.

Bonus: You Forgot The Rules

So much has changed since your last real relationship; who pays for what, how often to text, who should text first, when to have sex, when to meet friends, et cetera, et cetera. There are so many different moving parts to dating and even more “strategies” for finding the recipe for success. Overthinking things can be a fast path to disaster, headaches, and heartbreaks, so take a deep breath, relax a bit, and enjoy the ride.