If you’re wondering where all the good guys are in your life, chances are, you’ve put a few of them in the friend zone. They’ve been solid friends, and maybe you saw some potential there, but opted for someone that was a more appealing package, but now look at ya — single AF. If you’re tired of the dating apps and getting ghosted, take a look at the guys that shot their shot with you and see if any of them have these signs of being boyfriend material.

1. He’s Interested in Your Friends

Obviously not too much interest in your friends, but he knows who the key players are in your life and learns a bit about them. When you talk to him about what’s going on with your friends, do he write it off as drama or does he lean in for the fresh tea? A good potential partner pays attention to the company you keep because he knows if he keeps you around then they won’t be far behind.

2. He Respects Your Boundaries

He knows where you draw hard lines in your life and he doesn’t cross them. This doesn’t mean he won’t brush up against them from time to time — conflict is a natural part of relationships — but it does mean that he recognizes when something is best left alone. This is critical because it boils down to respect. If he can’t respect you, he isn’t the one for you. But if he can...he may be worth a shot.

3. He Gives You Space

If he’s blowing up your phone every time you go out with the girls, spend time with family, or even just when you’re doing your own thing, he’s not the one. A good boyfriend candidate recognizes that it’s important for you to have your own life outside of him, and doesn’t try to force his presence into that space. (What’s the point of giving him the tea if he’s wanting a play-by-play in real time?) If a potential partner can’t give you room to breathe when you’re in the early stages, what do you think will happen once you two become an item? 

4. He’s Invested in You

Hey may not be financially invested in you, but a man that invests his energy into knowing you is worth a closer look. This is a guy that cares about more than just the basics — what foods you like, what city you grew up in, etc. — he’s invested in the daily goings on in your life as well as the deeper parts of life that have helped shape you. This can look like a lot of things that women often overlook. Did he send you flowers because he remembered a somber anniversary was coming up for you? Did he shoot you a text to give you a laugh because he knew you were dealing with your kid’s father? Does he show interest in your goals and the journey to reaching them? This is definitely not something you’ll find swiping on dating apps.

5. He Has a Life

Being clingy is generally a femanine trait, and it’s not something you want in a potential partner. If he’s got his own life outside of you — whether it be hobbies with his friends, learning a new skill, or even building his own business — that’s a good sign for a positive relationship in the future. Mainly because it gives both of you room to do your own thing, but it also means he won’t be dependent on you for his regularly scheduled dose of human interaction.

6. He’s a Planner

Everybody likes a little spontaneity from time to time, but it says a lot more when a man is willing to plan a date ahead of time. This doesn’t have to mean spending a ton of money on extravagant activities, but being able to plan ahead shows that he’s able to see you in his future — even if it’s pretty soon, that’s time that he’s not spending with another woman — and it shows that he respects your time. He knows you’ve got things to do, and he’s willing to work with your lifestyle rather than expecting you to drop everything to move on his time.

7. He Can Actually Apologize

One of the unfortunate truths of our society is that most men are taught to be alpha males, and for most of them, part of that means disregarding emotions. As you get to know a guy, sooner or later, he’s going to bump into those boundaries of yours. When those times come, he should be man enough to be able to give an honest apology. You want to date — and potentially marry — someone who makes you feel seen and valued, and part of that comes from his ability to admit when he’s caused insult or injury.

8. He Can Pick Up The Phone

Simply put, he’s willing to pick up the phone every once in a while and use his voice to communicate. Texting is easy and convenient, and we all do it, but when it’s time to get real, is he willing to give you that type of undivided attention? This doesn’t mean you two need to be listening to each other breathe for hours — something women are notorious for — but it does mean being able to actually verbally communicate and give you undivided attention.

9. He Tried to be More than Just Friends

Truth be told, you’ve probably put your fair share of men in the friend zone for one reason or another — you thought he was immature, he didn’t have career goals, he has kids, etc. — but that didn’t stop him from trying. Now may be a good time to look back and see who didn’t give up when you dismissed them, and see if you still want to stand firm on that judgement. That guy with kids may offer the maturity and stability to build a long-term love affair.

10. He Can Address His Past

Whether he’s a friend from college or a more recent connection, there’s a good chance you don’t know everything about his past yet. A good indication of real boyfriend material is his ability to discuss his past relationships. Does he avoid the topic, or is he able to discuss it openly. Is he able to own up to his shortcomings in those relationships and express what the experience taught him, or does he swear every one of his exes was crazy? How he speaks of the women he once cared about will give you a good look at how he’ll speak of you if things don’t work out.

These 10 signs are sure to help you find your next relationship and give you some direction while navigating the single life’s playing field.