In today's trying times, it seems like the line has been drawn in the sand, but we've all seen those silent "allies" among our social circles. How do we address and cope with the mix of emotions that stem from that silence? 

White silence is defined as a form of resistance experienced by white people who suffer from unprocessed emotions, such as fear, anger, shame and denial, as it relates to discussions of racial tension.

Black folks across the world are working to advocate for the protection and value of Black Lives through social media and live protests. However, despite sudden waves of new found white guilt, Black-focused advertisements, and ongoing hashtags  there is an equally deafening act taking place – white silence. Specifically, silence among so-called “allies” to the Black community. For every shared photo and form of activism there are just as many witnessing discord in Black communities and opting to say nothing. 

Combating and coping with this degree of silence among our white peers involves understanding the nature of white fragility. Otherwise known as, “a state in which even a minimum amount of racial stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves,” Author Robin DiAngelo, PhD explains in her work, “White Fragility.” “Whites have not had to build the cognitive or affective skills or develop the stamina that would allow for constructive engagement across racial divides.” 

As a result, many whites are paralyzed by an imaginary underlying fear, preventing the acknowledgement of our pain and distress. Ultimately, white silence is a conditioned choice, a privilege – one that existed long before the rise of social media. It doesn’t display neutrality, but rather formulates itself as a weapon. 

Note, it’s not our responsibility to correct or assist those who fall into this category, instead acknowledge the actions of your counterpart. Speak out accordingly by expressing your discomfort. Whether that involves calling out indifference on social media or ending that new relationship. This may also involve you quietly restructuring your chosen friend groups (don’t be afraid of that block button!). Whatever the case, commit to ensuring that the next step is one of definitive benefit. 

When establishing new connections seek out those who will help form a tight C.R.E.W. – Individuals that help you Create, actively Reciprocate, provide ample Encouragement and put in Work right alongside you. Engaging in alternative spaces will also assist in creating avenues of healing as we continually look for ways to find relief from day to day struggles encompassed with ongoing racial disparities.

The worst thing an alleged white ally can do is ignore the pain others are experiencing by not speaking out in opposition of racism. The least that can be done is admitting that one is unsure of what to say; from here, education is required to determine the best course of action. This action should include working against white privilege only benefiting white people. The math is simple, any act of silence is only an act of compliance.